Measure once...

So I needed to build a polycylindrical diffuser to help mitigate some flutter echo in my drum recording room. I'll be building bass traps and other exciting stuff, but this is the first project of many (or at least until the money runs out).

Initially, I was going to cut arcs out of 2x6 dimensional lumber, but my jigsaw (and my jigsaw technique) proved woefully inadequate to the task. As I tried to follow the curve I had drawn, the saw blade bent out, leaving an unacceptably uneven cut.

Not wanting to purchase a scroll saw (and not sure it would be adequate anyway!) I decided to improvise. Using one metric shit-ton of geometry and trigonometry, I figured out what lengths I'd need to cut small pieces of wood to approximate an arc from a circle with a 4-foot radius. I cut my 2x6's into pieces 1.75" high, cut them a million more times, and assembled this frame:

You can see there's one 2x4 down the middle, with a little pyramid-like stack of boards I cut from the 2x6's. I also cut a 1x4 strip with a 45-degree bevel on one edge; that's the piece on the long side of the frame.

This design has the side benefit of making the whole rig somewhat lighter as well.

Here's a shot of the strip that will hold down a piece of hardboard on either side of the diffuser:

And here's what happens when you select a 1x4 with a great big knot in it:

However, with a backing board and several deck screws, it's like the Good Lord never put that knot in there. Ahem. Plus, it will make a great place to hang microphone cables when it's done! Yeah!!

Here's a stack of the little boards before I painstakingly screwed them all into place; it's slightly easier to see the individual boards when they're just loosely stacked on top of each other:

I proceed to painstakingly construct a total of four of these little piles of joy, one for each rib:

...and then put the pre-cut piece of hardboard in place:

After tucking in the left edge, here's the finished product. Note how the stack of wood supports the curve just so. It's so very close to perfect that I'm beside myself with pride...and we know what that comes before.

Here's the bare wall that's causing me so much grief next to my drumkit. Notice that the ceiling is EIGHT FEET HIGH, but that the rafters are NOT EIGHT FEET OFF THE GROUND. You've heard the expression "Measure twice, cut once?" Well, yours truly, who up until now you might have thought was pretty clever what with those stacks of wood that create supports for a curve of a predetermined radius, NEGLECTED TO MEASURE ONCE. My diffuser is eight feet tall; my rafters will only accommodate objects less than 7 feet tall.

Here's what it looks like when you realize you have to cut a foot off the top of your fucking perfect polycylindrical diffuser:

But it's easier to cut off the top of it than you might think, and all's well that ends well. Here's the finished product, in place and making my drums sound wicket ahsum:

Now it's time to build a 2-foot radius model! I'll post a photo of that when it's done, if I manage not to kill myself with the power tools involved.

Remembrance of Things Chemical

OK, I'm going Proustian!

Playing space invaders in that little arcade room in the back of Sears after school in the old brick St. Brigid's school building. Buying my cub scout numbers from the little bins in the part of Sears next to the stairs. Buying loud Miami Vice shirts from Moeggenberg's men's wear. Buying "cream horns" from the bakery on main street for Mary Battle and eating the sugar crystals first. Pizza Sam's and the scary looking fire escapes on the back of the buildings on Main Street. Bicentennial fire hydrants. Feeling like the 80's were the 50's due to some powerful magic in Alden Dow's architectural byproducts. The pine tree in the woods in the undeveloped land across the street from which I could see the water tower and the presbyterian church. Banana seats. Gray skies all winter long, and thinking every winter would bring a blizzard. Getting alone at the chippewa nature center. Peaches covered in dew from the tree in my backyard (which have spoiled peaches for me forever). The exquisite sensation of wool-polyester-blend cheerleader uniform worn by the occupant of the desk in front of me accidentally brushing against my bare knee. Sugar Springs. Feeling relieved to know that we were high on the list of targets in case of a nuclear war and would most likely be vaporized instantly. And driving around endlessly for fun.

Tivo Sucks!

Maria Brooks: Thank you for contacting TiVo! My name is Maria Brooks. So that I may better assist you, are you an existing customer?
eggmaster: yes, I am an existing customer.
Maria Brooks: Thank you! In order to verify your identity, can you please provide the following account information?:

* address
* phone number
eggmaster: I have just updated it on the website, and the current values are:
eggmaster: [redacted]
eggmaster: [redacted]
Maria Brooks: Thank you for verifying your information, [redacted]. How may I assist you today?
eggmaster: my question is about HD tivos. I do not get HD service from my cable provider, but
eggmaster: I notice that some programs appear to be coming "down the wire" with a wide-screen aspect ratio. Consequently,
eggmaster: when I view some recorded programs, the right and left sides of the image are cropped off.
eggmaster: Do I need to upgrade to an HD tivo unit to correct this problem?
Maria Brooks: That's a good question. I'll do some research on that. This will take 2-3 minutes.
eggmaster: thank you.
Maria Brooks: You're welcome!
eggmaster: There are some settings in the tivo menus that pertain to aspect ratios, but they don't seem to correct the issue.
Maria Brooks: Is this happening with specific channels or just certain shows?
eggmaster: I'm not sure.
eggmaster: However, it appears to happen with every show on channel 2, and at least one show on another channel. But it does not occur with every show on every channel.
eggmaster: That is to say, there are shows that appear as desired.
Maria Brooks: Still researching...
eggmaster: Sure, take your time.
Maria Brooks: Do you have any of these programs currently saved on the TiVo?
eggmaster: Yes.
Maria Brooks: I'm checking your lineup information. A few more minutes, please.
Maria Brooks: I've noticed a problem with the way that you have your TiVo set up to work with your cable provider. However, I'm not sure if the problem that your having with your recordings is related.
eggmaster: ok.
Maria Brooks: What I do know for sure is that if the TiVo is not set up properly, I won't be able to properly diagnose the recording trouble.
eggmaster: I see. Well, let me know what to do.
Maria Brooks: I see that you are using your TiVo as a dual tuner. Your lineup report tells me that you subscribe to Comcast.
eggmaster: yes.
Maria Brooks: Unfortunately, because Comcast is on an all digital lineup now, the TiVo can no longer be used as a dual tuner.
Maria Brooks: You'll need to repeat your Guided Set Up and tell the TiVo that it is now going to function as a single tuner.
eggmaster: Well, is there a different Tivo model that is more compatible with the type of service that Comcast provides?
eggmaster: I am not opposed to buying a new unit if it will provide better functionality.
eggmaster: I presume that my existing Tivo service is transferable between units somehow.
Maria Brooks: This means you will no longer have the ability to record one show and watch another at the same time. Also, you will not be able to record two programs at once.
eggmaster: That is highly annoying.
Maria Brooks: Our HD TiVo
Maria Brooks: Our HD TiVo's are the only unit that will give you dual tuning capability with an all digital lineup.
eggmaster: Is there some kind of trade-up available? Or would I just have to buy a new one?
Maria Brooks: You are correct with your assumption that the service that you have on the current box will transfer over to the new box.
Maria Brooks: We don't have a trade in program, you'll need to purchase a new box if the dual tuning feature is something you need.
eggmaster: That's a shame. I am not a satisfied customer.
Maria Brooks: Oh no! What can I do to fix that?
eggmaster: Well, I purchased this unit with the understanding that it was a dual tuning unit, and the person at Best Buy even told me to buy this one specifically to work with comcast. Now, because of circumstances beyond my control, my service has degraded substantially. My dad was able to purchase an HD tivo and return his old one for a refund. I'm not sure why this option is not available for me.
Maria Brooks: Where did your Dad get his TiVo from?
eggmaster: I don't recall. And it's been some time since he made the exchange. But my recollection is that he did it directly through Tivo.
eggmaster: I don't know what Best Buy's policy is on this, but I'm doubtful that they will be helpful.
Maria Brooks: Did you get your box at Best Buy?
eggmaster: Yes, I did.
eggmaster: This was back in June, though, so whatever return period I had has no doubt expired.
Maria Brooks: That's going to limit my ability to get you any kind of refund on the equipment. I can certainly understand how frustrated you are!
Maria Brooks: I recommend trying to sell the box on ebay or craiglist and putting the money towards a new box.
eggmaster: Had I known that buying it from a reseller would limit my ability to get customer service from Tivo, I would have purchased it directly from Tivo.
eggmaster: In which case, I'm not sure why you do your future customers the disservice of selling through resellers.
eggmaster: Very disappointing. Tivo--.
You have disconnected.

Brian Wilson

Back in November of 2008, I went to my second Brian Wilson concert. The first time I saw him was back when he premiered "Smile" in Minneapolis. Well, OK, the US premiere.

I have been lucky to take both of my kids to see Brian Wilson now. My older daughter went to Smile, and my younger one came to the "That Lucky Old Sun" show. Wife and an old friend from Ann Arbor were there, too, which made it even more fun (both had missed the "Smile" show).

Oh, and I bought a ticket for my sister to go see the show in Ann Arbor, just a few nights before the show we saw here in Minnesota. I felt really happy to send her to the show!

So here's the set list:

Set One:
Marcella
I Get Around
Wouldn't It Be Nice
God Only Knows
Good Vibrations
"That Lucky Old Sun," in its entirety.

Set Two:
California Girls
Surfer Girl
All Summer Long*
Please Let Me Wonder
Add Some Music to Your Day*
She's Not the Little Girl I Once Knew*
Do You Wanna Dance
Do It Again
Sail On, Sailor

Encore:
Johnny B Goode*
Help Me, Rhonda
Barbara Ann
Surfin' USA
Fun Fun Fun
Love & Mercy

*songs I was pleasantly surprised to hear included in the set list

It was a terrific show. If I have one complaint about Brian's band, it's that they get pretty loud and tend to stay there...and then turn up to eleven to finish the songs. I mean, come on, you don't have to have EVERYONE in the band hit the last note of each song. But what they lack in pastel subtlety they make up in proficiency...not to mention making Brian feel good enough to record a great new project like TLOS!

I see he's scheduled some dates for this summer & fall, so if you get a chance, go hear this music! You are lucky to be alive at the same time as Brian Wilson and have the chance to experience his music!

http://www.brianwilson.com/tour/

Rockstar Doll, Baby

Hi, imaginary readers. I'm hoping that you will become imaginary listeners, too.

I'm putting up some original music here.

I hope you find it entertaining.

What's New, Pussycat?

Well, a good old friend of mine had the misfortune of reading my blog today, and it reminded me of my iron-clad guarantee to post on here at least once every six months.

Summer is drawing to a close, although I am sticking to my clothing rule of "summer is not over until it snows." I persist in wearing shorts and a t-shirt.

I bought and played the new-ish computer game, Spore. It was cute, but overall it was a big letdown for a "serious" gamer like me. #1 Daughter loves it, though. We're both excited about the potential for "The Sims 3," as if I needed any additional incentive to sit on my ass in front of a computer.

I took the kids to the Minnesota Renaissance Festival, where they (after hours of trudging around searching for her) got to hang out with Twig the fairy:


Cute kids. I was really dreading taking the kids that day...I am not the world's most patient parent, and the 45-minutes-each-way drive along with the have-SCA-nerds-accost-me were really weighing heavy on my mind. But it turned out to be just fine...my kids are really well-behaved (in spite of how often it seems to me like they're totally out of control) and we enjoyed walking around the grounds, commenting on various anachronisms or which costumes we really liked.

Note to select Renaissance Fest attendees: I highly doubt that The Renaissance (or whatever time period you are imagining between, say, 1100 and 1700) was as skanky as you think. I didn't know there was such a thing as a Daisy Duke kilt. Maybe you are thinking of Renaissance Bratz (TM) dolls, or Sexy Milk Maid.

...and frog.

Now that I've worked up a good lather of curmudgeonliness, why stop? Here's something I just don't dig: Facebook. You get on there to find some old friend from college, and suddenly everyone in your high school yearbook is your "friend." Of course, I made the mistake of accepting the friend requests of a bunch of people that, as stated, merely passed the was-in-my-graduating-class test of "friendship." I guess this kind of bitchy attitude is what made me so popular back then.

Looks like we may be skipping Mexico this winter...which makes me sad. Still, this is supposed to be our year of reducing debt, and I just don't see how to swing it this time around. Especially with all the extra time I've had to spend filling sandbags and pouring bullet molds to prepare for the upcoming collapse of the social order (note to FBI/NSA/ATF/etc: THESE ARE THE JOKES!).

Which reminds me of one last rant: I didn't think it was possible, but I'm even more pissed at W! He (and of course I mean this in the Harry S. Truman "the buck stops here" sense, since I don't think he's really capable of succeeding at anything) has successfully run Our Great Nation into the ground. Mark my words: if McCain wins, we are outta here. "It was a nice Democratic Experiment while it lasted, but adios, mofos! See you at the apocalypse!"

Garumph!

The Establishment Clause

Two observations from the fallout over "Reverend" Wright.

First, this is why politicians should *not* discuss their faith (or the lack thereof). And why, perhaps, they should attend church services in disguise.

Second, why (apart from the fact that the good Mr. Wright seems to want more than just 15 minutes of fame) are John McCain's controversial religious associations (read: endorsements) not getting similar traction in the American Zeitgeist-du-jour?

Personally, I would prefer an atheist/agnostic candidate (or at least one that would admit to it), but since that doesn't seem to be an option in America, the candidates' religious predilections matter to me about as much as whether they like to be on top or bottom.